Where do I start? The nutshell version of myself can be summed up in this verse, “The same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It’s bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God’s wonderful grace.” Col. 1:6
God took a tall, awkward, people-pleasing, small-town girl, living with doubt, fear, and insecurities and is transforming me into a women of God. I want other people to know that it can be possible in your life too you are never too broken, too bitter, too messed-up for God to rebuild you! Healing is possible. I am stumble around sometimes but it’s totally happening and there is no other place I would rather be. The only one who can accomplish this, our savior Jesus Christ.
My Husband:
My husband Sean is the best man with the most character, humor and heart, I really admire him. God took us half way around the world in Krasnodar Russia to meet, only to find out we grew up hours away from each other. God’s timing is perfect but if you would have asked me at the time I would have said He's not bringing my husband fast enough. After spending time together and talking about our loves, fears and goals in life we were inseparable. He is a writer to the core. A small example is when Sean proposed he presented me with a journal he had kept to me after we found out I was sick (see paragraph below) up to that day, with his proposal inside. We got married on June 26th, 2010 one of the happiest days of my life. One thing is for sure marriage makes you more holy (not to say single people aren't holy but myself in marriage is being tested daily. You can read about it here) it reveals your sin and selfish desires, it forces you to be vulnerable and open, it makes you grow and see beyond yourself, it helps your ministry and prayer life, it is the most hard thing yet most amazing thing to be apart of. Sean is a great leader who teaches me something about leadership and living a life of integrity every day by simply watching him live his life and hearing what he learned in his time spent with in the Word. It wasn't always this way as we have walked out of emotional affairs, addictions, anger, harsh abusive language, explosive fighting, compromising media choices and financial disaster. Please know there is always hope, healing and wholeness can happen. If you have questions about our story or need prayer please don't hesitate contact me.
My Cancer:
It is my joy and privilege to walk in God’s healing light as it penetrates into the wounded places of our heart, mind, and physical bodies. Two months into our relationship we found out the worst was confirmed, in January 2009 I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. While being in the beginning stages of dating Sean I found out cancer is a lot like being in love: It’s all you can think about. Every brain cell can be consumed with thoughts of this disease and some days I felt every fiber of my body bearing witness to it’s presence. Some days I would just try to act like I was perfectly fine stuffing it away and then I would do too much and get nauseated, exhausted or the extreme muscle pain would come without warning and then it was undeniable...I was sick. Putting on my wig, drawing on my eyebrows, covering the dark circles under my eyes, and taking a look in the mirror, I didn’t feel like myself. I would take off the itchy, hot wig, scrub off the make up...I didn’t look or feel like myself either. It was a really trying time for myself.
If I wasn’t careful cancer became my identity. What a difference it makes when instead I let Jesus be my identity. What an impact I can make on the world if I recognize I am with Jesus. Some days I would think I didn’t sign up for this but I consider the whole thing worth it if in the end I look more like Him. If you are going through it or know someone who is going through cancer, you can honor God somehow through this experience –whatever the outcome. He is at work in our lives and we will see it complete on one side of Glory or another!
I write this all in past tense because of the fact as of today I have no cancer in my body. Over the 6 months of chemo the questions of what do I do became less and less. The bigger picture I dealt with was –who is God and how do I enjoy him, glorify him in the midst of this windy, wayward storm. I know now that despite our ability to predict the day to day, at the time we became more certain of our faith. We passionately want to know our Savior and His Word increasingly being confident in His will for us and joyfully surrendering our life plans, goals, and dreams to Him. Sean and I are more compassionate for people as a result of this too; we know the weight and the joy when God says he will heal us completely in this life or the next. Cancer leaves a lot of room for waiting. I waited for a diagnosis, a surgery, a chemo treatment, shot, a result... I remember once someone said that waiting is fundamentally about what you’ll become as you wait. We all wait for something.
My Ministry:
I have a passion for being real with people, and seeing someone’s face light up with understanding as we share truth. My husband and I love relating to people. We enjoy talking about things that are taboo for couples to talk about in church and how God provides us full restoration and complete healing from our past while giving us an exciting future walking in freedom. The Bible is clear on the way we should live and we want to encourage people to pursue Jesus for themselves in a deep meaningful relationship.
We love watching movies, dancing to music, reading books, playing volleyball, eating cheese, and just talking over a cup of coffee. We are praying about the passions and gifts God had put in our hearts for the gospel, children, the Deaf community, other countries, young couples, etc. and asking him to put us where He needs us.
